Hello! I recently received a bunch of messages from concerned friends wondering why I haven’t posted anything in a while. This made me realize I better check in with y’all. The truth of the matter is that I just haven’t had anything interesting to report. Since the specialist released me, I no longer have weekly checkups. I am now being treated every few weeks by a regular OBGYN, and the visits are rather uneventful.
It feels great to be “normal” for once, but I do miss my weekly ultrasounds. It was so nice and reassuring to get a glimpse of Baby P each week. Now my visits consist of a urine specimen, an examination to make sure my cervix is closed and routine blood work. Not nearly as exciting! 🙂
Sometimes it feels strange to be in a waiting room full of pregnant women who have no idea what it took to conceive this baby. It is a very different environment than that of the fertility clinic. I hear a lot of complaining and a lot of people taking their gift for granted.
I recently overheard a patient lamenting that she needed a drink because she had been pregnant for “3 years straight.” I still have moments where I want to lash out at people and tell them how lucky they are that this all comes so easily. I think of my friends who are still struggling to conceive ONE child (many of whom have been trying for much longer than I had to).
I have to remind myself, though, that if I hadn’t gone through all of this I would probably be one of those people too. Let’s face it, pregnancy is no cake walk. I’ve had morning sickness every single day so far and I have yet to eat a full meal. That can certainly take a toll on you after a while.
Believe it or not, it makes me thankful for my struggle. The battle makes the victory that much sweeter. Every time I think that I can’t feel any worse, I remind myself how low I felt when I had to entertain the possibility that we may never have a child. Recalling those emotions, I remember that there are MUCH WORSE feelings than extreme nausea.
I am also constantly reminded how lucky I am as several people I know have recently endured miscarriages. The fact that my pregnancy has been “uneventful” is as big of a blessing as the miracle growing inside of me. After reviewing my hormone levels, my new OBGYN told me that the clear reason for my nausea is simply “such a healthy baby.” Wow. My stomach might be empty, but my heart sure is full. I hope and pray that every woman struggling with infertility gets the chance to experience this feeling. It’s great to be so sick because your baby is so healthy.
I thank God every day that I am 10 weeks pregnant with this beautiful little miracle.