Just Checking in

thankful

Hello! I recently received a bunch of messages from concerned friends wondering why I haven’t posted anything in a while. This made me realize I better check in with y’all. The truth of the matter is that I just haven’t had anything interesting to report. Since the specialist released me, I no longer have weekly checkups.  I am now being treated every few weeks by a regular OBGYN, and the visits are rather uneventful.

It feels great to be “normal” for once, but I do miss my weekly ultrasounds. It was so nice and reassuring to get a glimpse of Baby P each week. Now my visits consist of a urine specimen, an examination to make sure my cervix is closed and routine blood work. Not nearly as exciting! 🙂

Sometimes it feels strange to be in a waiting room full of pregnant women who have no idea what it took to conceive this baby. It is a very different environment than that of the fertility clinic. I hear a lot of complaining and a lot of people taking their gift for granted.

I recently overheard a patient lamenting that she needed a drink because she had been pregnant for “3 years straight.” I still have moments where I want to lash out at people and tell them how lucky they are that this all comes so easily. I think of my friends who are still struggling to conceive ONE child (many of whom have been trying for much longer than I had to).

I have to remind myself, though, that if I hadn’t gone through all of this I would probably be one of those people too. Let’s face it, pregnancy is no cake walk. I’ve had morning sickness every single day so far and I have yet to eat a full meal. That can certainly take a toll on you after a while.

Believe it or not, it makes me thankful for my struggle. The battle makes the victory that much sweeter. Every time I think that I can’t feel any worse, I remind myself how low I felt when I had to entertain the possibility that we may never have a child. Recalling those emotions, I remember that there are MUCH WORSE feelings than extreme nausea.

I am also constantly reminded how lucky I am as several people I know have recently endured miscarriages. The fact that my pregnancy has been “uneventful” is as big of a blessing as the miracle growing inside of me. After reviewing my hormone levels, my new OBGYN told me that the clear reason for my nausea is simply “such a healthy baby.” Wow. My stomach might be empty, but my heart sure is full. I hope and pray that every woman struggling with infertility gets the chance to experience this feeling. It’s great to be so sick because your baby is so healthy.

I thank God every day that I am 10 weeks pregnant with this beautiful little miracle.

2 thoughts on “Just Checking in

  1. I was sick the entire time I had Eddie. I had lost so much weight and then I wound up gaining 45 lbs. Doctor was threatening to put me in hospital if I kept gaining weight. All turned out well.
    Mom thinks its a girl and I keep thinking its a boy. But we really don’t care. We both want to get our hands on our blessed little angel. Love you

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  2. Praise God for an uneventful pregnancy!! Yes every single day of sickness and feeling uncomfortable is SO worth it. I have been SO guilty of complaining during pregnancy then I meet the baby and I’m like why did I complain! Such a miracle. Thank you for sharing. It’s such a great reminder to “be grateful in ALL circumstances” 1 thes 5:18.

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