This is an expression of sheer, unadulterated joy. The expression of a child setting foot onto Main Street in Disney World for the very first time. The face of relief, gratitude and an unending sense of the true grace of God. THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is the face of a woman who thought she was leaving the doctor’s office with a cancelled cycle and a prescription for birth control and left with a green light and an IVF calendar instead.
I went to the doctor this morning for baseline blood work, an ultrasound to count my resting follicles and training for the Follistim and Menopur injections, which I was scheduled to start this afternoon. Nothing was supposed to be up in the air. I had gotten the go-ahead last week when they determined the lone cyst on my right ovary wasn’t producing any hormones.
While I was getting my blood drawn, a newly pregnant patient was projectile vomiting in the hall bathroom. She was there to see her baby on screen for the first time. I told my husband and the phlebotomist that I hoped to be in her position soon. In fact, I would give ANYTHING to be projectile vomiting because a sweet baby was growing in my belly. They laughed and looked at me like I was crazy, but I meant that wholeheartedly. After going through this journey, I know for certain that if I’m lucky enough to get pregnant, I will be thanking God even when my head is hanging in the toilet bowl.
After my blood was drawn we moved to the ultrasound room. I was so excited to see how many resting follicles were on the screen. This could potentially give us an idea of how many mature eggs we would end up with at retrieval. The ultrasound tech started with my left ovary. Nine follicles came on the screen and I was getting ready to take a picture to post on the blog. But then I saw it. A big, ugly, nasty cyst. It had somehow developed since last Thursday. I knew this wasn’t a good sign and could easily mean cancellation of the cycle. I refrained from taking the picture.
Next, she moved over to my right ovary. I knew the cyst they discovered last week might still be there, but I wasn’t concerned because I knew it wasn’t producing hormones. That is until she told me that it had gotten bigger. How could that be?
Just like that, this went from an exciting appointment to potentially devastating news. She told us that there was a good chance they would cancel the cycle, but we wouldn’t know for sure until they got the blood work back. We went to wait in the room where we were SUPPOSED to be learning how to do the injections.
The nurse came in and said she wasn’t going to teach us how to do the injections. Instead, she said I would probably be getting back on birth control and apologized because she knew that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. She told us the blood work would be back in about 5 minutes and left the room.
It ended up taking about 45 minutes to get the results back. I told Matt that I didn’t understand why we never have a smooth appointment where everything goes off without a hitch. Why does my body always have to throw us a curve ball? Why is there always some undetermined factor that keeps us guessing? It’s a constant roller coaster ride, and, most of the time, I want to get off.
The time we spent waiting for the results was pretty much intolerable. Matt tried to make me laugh. My eyes welled up a few times. I prayed. I got angry. I got confused. I worried my medicine would expire. I wondered if we would get our money back. I felt pretty much every emotion imaginable. And then I felt the best one.
My doctor came in the room bearing good news. Somehow neither of the cysts were producing hormones. We were approved to move forward! Matt and I hugged and kissed, and, before we knew it, the nurse was back in the room to teach us how to administer the injections. I couldn’t believe things turned around so quickly. Sometimes we worry ourselves sick and, in the end, we didn’t have anything to worry about in the first place. That’s why we have to have faith.
I will start the Follistim and Menopur injections tomorrow. I ended up having 9 resting follicles on the left ovary and 7 resting follicles on the right. Apparently this is a great number! More good news! If they all mature, I am potentially looking at 16 eggs to retrieve. I have a follow-up appointment Tuesday to check my progress. I’m ready to start the injections and excited about what’s to come. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. I know that without the prayers of so many, we could have gotten very different news today. Please keep them coming!