Today I needed a little perspective and God gave it to me. I woke up and emptied out the box of needles and medications that were delivered last week. I’m scheduled to start my injections tomorrow, so I began to dissect the contents of the box. I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for myself. The idea of all of these needles going into my poor little tummy over the course of the next 3 weeks overwhelmed me. Luckily, I’ve never had a fear of needles. I’m not sure anyone could go through this process if they did. The sheer volume of the needles staring me in the face was enough to scare off even the bravest patient, though. What worried me even more was the list of potential side effects that accompanied each of these meds.
Once again I started questioning and wondering why this was my path. Why do I have to put my body through so much just for a chance at pregnancy? It just doesn’t seem fair. I headed to my doctor’s appointment with a little bit of a chip on my shoulder. The purpose of today’s appointment was to get a baseline ultrasound and blood work to make sure all systems are a go to start the injections.
I went to the lab to have my blood drawn then proceeded to the ultrasound room. I’ve had more ultrasounds than Michelle Duggar at this point so I have a pretty good idea of what I’m looking at on the screen. Everything looked great when the tech measured my uterine lining and examined my left ovary, but as soon as my right ovary came on the screen, my heart sank. There it was…another giant cyst. I was somewhat surprised because I had a 3D ultrasound last week and everything looked great. I had a sneaking suspicion something may be wrong, though, because I haven’t been feeling well the past few days.
The ultrasound tech told me that because of the cyst, there was a strong possibility the doctor would not allow me to continue with IVF at this time. Not this again. You’ve gotta be kidding me! The nurse and doctor said that all we could do was wait until the blood work came back. If the cyst was producing a significant amount of hormones, the cycle would be cancelled and I would be put back on birth control until we could get the level down.
Just this morning I was cringing at the idea of injecting so much medicine into my body. Now I felt like I would give anything for the chance to start this cycle. Sometimes we get so bogged down in negativity and self pity that we lose perspective.
I left the office praying that things would turn out ok, especially since I had a very expensive box of medicine at home that couldn’t be returned and would soon expire. To my surprise I got a phone call from the doctor about 30 minutes later. He said that the blood work looked great and I could start my injections tomorrow. Alleluia! Now I’m actually excited to start the shots!
I can say with absolute certainty that this journey has been the biggest roller coaster ride of my life, and the ups and downs continue daily. You never know whether you will get news that puts you on top of the world or down in the dumps. The thing I have taken away, though, is that the valleys make the peaks that much sweeter. If you find yourself needing a little attitude adjustment today, I invite you to listen to my late father’s favorite song. It’s a good reminder set to a catchy tune.
Accentuate the positive, y’all! Thanks for the prayers. Let’s get this party started!
P.S. I’m not sure why the only version of this song I could find online was from the Mighty Ducks soundtrack but c’est la vie. 🙂